Colleague: "Will you discuss something with you?" Me: "You say it." Colleague: "I have tight hands recently, so ..." Me: "Want to borrow money?" Colleague: "Yes." Me: "It's easy to say, I'm the master of less than 10 y, and consult with my wife over 10 y." Colleague: "Aren't you not married?" Me: "Yeah, so no negotiation."
Colleague: "Will you discuss something with you?" Me: "You say it." Colleague: "I have tight hands recently, so ..." Me: "Want to borrow money?" Colleague: "Yes." Me: "It's easy to say, I'm the master of less than 10 y, and consult with my wife over 10 y." Colleague: "Aren't you not married?" Me: "Yeah, so no negotiation."
A middle-aged man asked the fish seller at the vegetable market: "Is your fish fresh?" The fishmonger said: "Look at this lively, do you say it's fresh or not?" The man said: "It's not easy to say, my wife is also alive and kicking, and I feel not new."
"Husband, don't you often tell me before marriage, am I your goddess?"
"Wife, you should always see now that I have become an atheist since I got married."
The child is thinking about "genetics and environment".
The mother interjected: "This problem is very simple. Everyone knows that if a child is like a father, it is inherited; like a neighbor, it is the environment."
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A female customer drove to the maintenance department of the 4S shop yesterday. When the car reacted to the occasional "pop" noise, the maintenance master guided her: "Is it similar to the sound of iron hitting iron?"
She thought about it and said, "No, it's meat."
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My life can be said to be given by my wife. At that time, we two went swimming, and only two of us were in the pool.
I was drowning. Although the depth of the water only reached the position of my hair, I was drowning.
Just when I was unable to jump up to breathe air and was dying, she crawled out of the pool. The water level dropped to my neck.
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Female: "Is there such a moment that makes you think how good it would be if you could continue this way ..."
Male: "Yes, when the ATM machine pays."
Wife: Husband, I think your lucky color is purple.
Husband: Why?
Wife: Because every time I hit you, the purple appears, I won't do it. . .
Post automatically merged:
The wife said, "Husband, let's get a tattoo!"
The husband said, "What kind of pattern?"
The wife said: "You will have a tattoo: I love you, my wife, I will never change my heart, I will always be good to you. I will buy you good food, good food and good clothes."
Husband: "My God, I might die of pain? What are you doing?"
Wife: "I can tattoo: OK"
The son asked his father: "Dad, how do you and your mother know each other?"
Dad: "Many years ago, your mother almost drowned in the water. I happened to pass by because I could swim and hurriedly jumped into the water to save your mother. Two months later, we got married."
Son "Dad, you are so brave."
Dad sighed and said, "Son, don't learn to swim in your life."
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Every week a couple goes to church, but the husband will fall asleep every time he listens to the sermon. The wife felt embarrassed and thought of a way: next time she went again, she quietly took a needle and decided to wake him up with the needle after her husband fell asleep.
The pastor said: Who created the world? The audience suddenly heard the shout of a man: God!
The priest ignored him, thinking this guy really thought everyone didn't know? Then he said it again: Who created mankind?
The voice came again from the audience: Lord! ! The priest still ignored it, but this man had troubled him.
Then after a while, the priest said: When Adam and Eve had their first child, what did Eve say to Adam?
This time the sound was louder: you poke me with this tiny thing, and I reverse it!
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"When someone praises you for being pretty, how to answer in a low-key manner?"
"What? Loud, I can't hear it!"
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The son puts the sugar in his father's mouth and then asks: "Dad, is the sugar sweet?"
Dad was so touched and said with tears, "Sweet!"
The son said again: "Why doesn't the dog eat? It vomited several times"
father. . .
Post automatically merged:
A: What did your dog do to move you?
B: It eats cat feces and saves me time to lose ~
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At that time, the Titanic set sail, I tried my best to yell, do not set sail, no one listened to me, still scolded me because of low intelligence, and finally I was beaten by the security of the cinema.